Bitchboards - How to Tell A Snowboard Company Is Bad

When I recently found out that Bitchboards had survived the season, and not only that but had added a new line of bindings to its products, I couldn't believe it. So many good companies were lost to the recent economics time, yet this piece of shit brand somehow survives and expands? Either Bitchboards survives via deep pockets (more on that later), or it is we who are to blame...

Understand that in writing this article, I am faced with a monumental challenge: Here I am, a guy snowboarder, about to try and talk any lady snowboarders who read this page out of selling themselves short. So I am 1. A guy, 2. I have never tested, or even seen, these girls snowboards, and 3. I'm going against a company that has built its brand on gender identity (some powerful psychological stuff) with a deviously sneaky, yet incredibly effective marketing plan behind it.

So this is what I am up against before I even get the ball rolling; the odds are pretty much completely against me. The way I see it is this: What follows is not necessarily an attack on Bitchboards alone so much as an attack on all companies that come into this market only for the glory and the profitability. This is what a bad snowboard company looks like...

A successful snowboarding company is usually built around a unique idea or innovation that satisfies a particular void in our industry. Bitchboards actually does have a niche, the "snowboards by girls for girls" market, which while slowly growing is still in dire need of revolutionary companies; Bitchboards just isn't one of said companies:

"BitchBoards® is a new and revolutionary company focusing exclusively on the creation of highly functional and fashionable ‘boards for bitches’. We’re not talking about awkward and heavy men’s boards with butterflies and daisies slapped on top. We are also not talking about ‘chick-sized’ boards with a dash of pink across the surface, hiding weak and cheap manufacturing..."

So let's check fact with fiction. Women's voices in the snow industry are definitely being heard, and today you can't be a snowboard manufacturer without offering a ladies or at least a unisex model. More and more female riders are starting to push the progression of the sport, and this has meant enormous improvements each year to the women's hardgoods market. Burton, Salomon, K2 and many, many other companies all offer a full line of tried, tested and approved snowboard models specifically designed for the female rider.

To call the female models in production today, "...awkward and heavy men's boards with butterflies and daisies slapped on top," is pretty bold, particularly when the company making the claim offers no detailed explanation on just what makes their boards for girls. Essentially this is just a claim from a stranger that you can either believe or not, and I don't buy it.

Now, I have scoured the Bitchboards website time and time again looking for evidence that maybe, just maybe they do care about the progression of snowboarding. They finally added a Twin-tip model, yet even that lacks any real substance. They did add a hint of technical research with "Engineered Carbon Fiber for Woman's Lower Center Of Gravity". I'm not a wizard with these things, but I do believe carbon fiber is used more for stiffness and pop; I'm not sure what a woman's center of gravity would have to do with the carbon fiber.

Basically, these boards are no different than the boards at your local Sportsmart/Sports Authority/Wal-Mart, and their new binding line is more of the same. It's very clear that Bitchboards is not about female progression in snowboarding, but they do have a target consumer:

"Our mission and philosophy is to always provide the highest quality women's snowboards women love to ride and show off! We promise to provide the ultimate in style and design in every BitchBoards® snowboard without skimping on the performance or quality...

...BitchBoards® is embracing the word 'Bitch' to mean an empowered and beautiful female snowboarder. It's a fun and playful ‘thumbing of the nose’ at a male-dominated industry that until now hasn't addressed women's real wants and needs. Move over 'betties' the 'bitches' are shredding up the mountain!"

Yes, in an effort to break away from the male-dominated industry and pre-conceived notions of a woman's taste, Bitchboards offers a snowboard that let's everyone on the mountain know that you are the stereotypical Long Beach Barbie, all about looks and in serious need of books. Bitchboards boast a "pretty" photo-realistic topsheet yet underneath reveals a bland, rudamentary and simplistic board construction; pretty on the outside with a soul like dried leather... just like Long Beach Barbie.

Even the name, "Bitchboards", is just another gimmick, another way the company feeds on our psychological impulses. Either you are raving on how bold and unconventional the genius behing Bitchboards, Alex Masterson, is; or you are absolutely hating on the absurdity of having the word "Bitch" plastered across the base of your board. Guess what? Alex Masterson actually is a genius, well not her, but her family and the folks over at Masterson Creative. Turns out daddy happens to specialize in "Branding, corporate identity and image building." A perfect arrangement if you are a spoiled little girl who wants to have her own snowboard company, and you have a shitty product that you need to sell tons of skeptical people.

I'm not necessarily saying I want Bitchboards to go away, but if it is going to stay and people are going to keep buying their boards--and now bindings--then they really need to step it up and figure out what the industry is all about. Right now, Alex Masterson and Bitchboards just don't get snowboarding... it's plain and simple.

The thing is, it is true that there is a lack of information and resources for female riders who want to get started/progress to the next level in their riding; seeing an girl-specific board company like Bitchboards, especially with how much they promise to deliver to female riders, makes it all to easy to fall victim. Don't sell yourself short! Consider your sources and do your research. You can ask around on forums, call various companies; don't forget to pump your local shop kids for information or you can even try and send an email to your favorite pro-snowboarder. Even if graphics and looks are your main concern, don't let clever brand marketing talk you into paying over $600 (the going price for Bitchboards last season) for a board you could have bought for under $200 at Sportsmart. Better yet, take that $600 and buy into some of the truly innovative and progressive woman's snowboard companies.